The Chimney House

I went to the Chimney House early on a Saturday evening in June 2008 with my husband and two young sons. Situated in Porthall, a rather middle class Brighton suburb full of young families and professional couples, this self-styled 'gastro pub' has every reason to succed: Little competition, a relatively cash-rich locality, and a nice venue.

However, I have to say (and i've eaten some pretty bad meals in Brighton, as well as some excellent ones) that despite pleasant service, a nice wine list and a bustly atmosphere much improved since my last visit, the food was appalling.

First off, the menu: Who on earth is in charge of this? Gordon Ramsay would have a field day: Pan Fried pork chops on a bed of chick pea and garlic puree (hang on, isn't that hoummous to most people? And who wants to eat pork chops coated in hoummous??)... Faggots of lamb shank and black olives (shredded, not minced) wrapped in a fried savoy cabbage leaf on a fried garlic potato cake... Ok, I can't remember all the details, but it was long (too long for a small venue), complex and the food combinations were - in places - rather startling. We were hard pushed to find something we actually fancied eating.

We ordered starters of squid and chorizo salad with balsamic dressing (an unexpected combination but I was prepared to give it a chance), with some freshly made bread and home-made pork scratchings as appetizers (well, we were all starving). The pork scratchings were completely inedible: Tasting of stale fat, they were unseasoned and we could not, whatever we tried, break or chew them (in fairness, the waitress took them off our bill - but what were they doing on the menu in that state?!). The squid and chorizo salads were... ok. Nice chorizo, ok squid - rather bland and cloying generic balsamic dressing, but there you go.

We had less success with the main courses: I chose the faggots, which were a big mistake. The garlic potato cake was an odd mix of burnt garlic (giving it its only flavour) and undercooked potato. The 'faggot' was in fact shredded (not minced) lamb shank with a few slices of olive, wrapped in a cabbage leaf. The predominant taste was also burnt garlic, it fell apart as soon as I started to try and eat it, there was no sauce or jus so it was as dry as sand and to add insult to injury, mine came with a little bit of wire inside - which was a surprise. My husband chose the trout with limed new potatoes and rocket, which he said was bland but edible. My sons had what was advertised as vegetarian bangers, mash and gravy, but was in fact vegetarian sausages with a tomato sauce - this distinction is quite important when you are 4, it seems, and cutlery was dropped on the floor.

For desert, we all chose the white chocolate cheesecake which had an impermeable, textureless base and glutinous, tasteless topping - I don't know if this had been lovingly hand made on the premises, but to be honest i'd have had more pleasure (and change) from a supermarket value product. With one bottle of their cheaper rose wine, the bill came to nearly £80- for two adults and two small children (who shared desert).

All in all, shockingly overpriced (we felt) for really, really bad food chosen from a chaotic - if not eccentric - menu that had been poorly executed. Chimney House, what on earth has happened? Where's it going wrong? You'll scare all the locals away...
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Catherine
Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Port Hall is a bit isolated and there aren't many other eateries in the area. So, opening this is a clever move by the owners. The food is of a high standard but the feel is very much of an upmarket pub.

We visited on a Sunday and the place was buzzing by 12.30. It gets very busy and you see couples, families, the lot. Although it gets a bit crowded, the staff are excellent, very friendly and efficient.

The food is very good and the menu is varied. My seabass with risotto was very good. You are paying restaurant prices, so I would expect high standards.

Overall, a nice place and one I look forward to visiting again.
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Epicurean
Thursday, January 17, 2008